Hier soir j’ai appris à faire un risotto

Contribution externe de Cricri (@xt0phe) qui hier, a essayé d'apprendre à cuisiner. Mon avis, c'est qu'il a surtout picolé. Récit d'aventure:

Tu sais faire un risotto? C'est pas très important en fait parce que soit tu sais mais tu peux toujours t'améliorer, soit tu sais pas et t'as tout à y gagner en lisant ce qui suit.

Le risotto est un plat à part entière. Tu peux l'essayer en accompagnement, mais veille à être en pyjama élastique avant ou à déjà défaire un bouton de ton pantalon. Parce que pfiou, ça remplit bien. 

Prêt pour la recette?

Autant prévenir de suite, le riz à risotto n'est pas le même que les autres, c'est bien écrit sur l'emballage et les puristes ne mettent que du beurre (salé?), du bouillon et du parmesan (et du pinard). Nous on met le fond de frigo avec, ça donne du goût. 

- Faire chauffer 1 litre d'eau

- Mettre un bouillon de légume dedans

- Découper ce qui va alimenter le bazar

- Pendant ce temps le bouillon prend

- Dans une autre casserole que celle du bouillon, mettre une bonne tranche de beurre

- Y mettre le riz, et un tiers du bouillon

- Cuire à feu doux et touiller

- Quand le riz a bien bu (comme nous), tu vas remettre du bouillon. Le deuxième tiers.

- A la fin du second tiers de bouillon on peut mettre du poivre et du sel (sauf quand on met des tomates séchées salées) et on met aussi l'accompagnement

- C'est quand c'est plus inondé qu'il faut touiller beaucoup sinon ça attache

- Ensuite, troisième tiers de bouillon et on met le fromage et on peut y aller parce que le fromage c'est bon (à priori ça cuit depuis genre 15 minutes là)

- Quand le riz redevient translucide ben tu goutes et tu avises. Bon s'il est encore un peu croquant c'est pas encore bon. Et tu oublies pas de touiller tout le temps.

- Tu (te) ressers une bière aussi. Et si possible dans le bon verre.

- Et si ça sent pas assez le fromage tu en rajoutes, c'est qu’il en a pas assez, le fromage c'est la vie.

- Là tu vois qu'il est plus détrempé mais juste mouillé... Alors tu rajoutes un peu d'eau, pour l’aider à finir sa petite cuisson. Et du fromage. Parce que si tu rajoutes de l'eau tu remets du fromage aussi, c'est la règle. Et tu discutes pas, c'est comme ça.

- La subtilitey c'est de pas juste le rendre pâââteux

- Et d'ailleurs tu peux mettre ton oreille au-dessus (hein?). Ben oui, écoute, tu l'entends cuire à son aise et il est toujours mouillé

- C'est dans cette partie-ci que tu peux foirer ton risotto si tu remues pas assez alors tu fais attention

- Et n'oublie pas de goûter

- Si c'est pas encore tout à fait cuit tu l'hydrates. A la bière? Et si tu hydrates, tu rajoutes? Du fromage on t'a dit!

- Ha et si tu veux mettre du pinard dedans tu le mets en même temps que la fin de ton bouillon, c'est un peu tard pour le dire mais au moins si t'as lu jusqu'ici tu le sais maintenant.

- Toujours pas cuit? Tu continues à touiller et tu remets de l'eau. N'oublie pas le fromage bon sang, c'est la troisième fois qu'on te le dit!

- Quand tu te dis qu'il reste 3 minutes tu coupes le feu et tu le laisses, c'est bon

- Y a plus qu'à servir et t'installer 

Voilà, maintenant toi et moi on sait faire un risotto. Enfin, en théorie du moins parce que j'ai beaucoup regardé et noté en sirotant ma bière dans son verre. Y a plus qu'à passer aux travaux pratiques maintenant.

#HNTBUGBDN : Faire un risotto à ton aise, avec une bière dans son verre et Black Sands de Bonobo dans les oreilles. Tu auras peut-être la chance de le découvrir dans un article le petit son pour tes petites oreilles un jour, mais ça, ça dépend pas de moi.

2 944 commentaires sur “Hier soir j’ai appris à faire un risotto”

  1. Merci pour la recette !
    J’ai remplacé le riz par des petits pois, et le fromage par du steak haché. Tout le monde s’est régalé !
    #MarmitonStyle

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